Category Archives: Divorce

What is Collaborative Divorce?

What is Collaborative Divorce_WolfBridge Financial

Divorces aren’t easy.

No matter what the final reasoning was behind making this choice – it was no doubt a difficult one. At one point you loved this person so much that you envisioned your entire life with them. Now you have a family and need to figure out the best way to transition into your new life.

Many couples end up in lengthy, high conflict situations with attorneys on both sides battling to divide property and custody of children. Other couples may have no problem splitting and simply need help getting paperwork done – the rest they can figure out themselves.

For everyone else there is an option you may or may not be familiar with yet.

Collaborative Divorce.

Couples who may not be on the same page in terms of property division, child custody and spousal support, but are willing and able to do whatever it takes to make the process run smoothly can really benefit from this way of proceeding with their divorce.

In short, collaborative divorce is a process in which you and your spouse negotiate an acceptable agreement with a variety of professionals (or a team) helping navigate the process. This may include an attorney, financial specialist, child specialist and co-parenting advisor.

There are many benefits to handling divorce in the hands of a group of professionals with your financial and family situation in mind including:

  • No trial or litigious hearings and agreement of legal procedures to cut down expenses
  • Stability through a temporary agreement
  • Voluntary exchange of information
  • A negotiated a settlement
  • Come to an agreement on how post divorce issue will be handled.
  • Mediation Training
  • Neutral Financial Specialist who helps you and your spouse understand any issues surrounding your divorce

Main Goals of Collaborative Divorce

While it is nice to stay out of court and save a little cash, the main benefit of collaborative divorce is that it puts the children first. The child specialist works as the voice of the children throughout the proceedings while a co-parenting specialist helps create a plan for how you can most effectively take care of your child after the divorce is complete so that he/she is not negatively affected by the experience.

At the same time, the financial specialist will serve as an un-biased intermediary to help resolve property and budget issues so that there isn’t any unnecessary burden on either party and that things are split up amicably.

What does a Collaborative Divorce Cost?

It depends on the team of professionals you end up working with. One thing that is for certain is that it is a lot less expensive than a traditional divorce. You are not paying for costs associated with hearings, discovery of information or even court delays. Instead you are typically paying hourly fees for the help of the aforementioned professionals as they help try and make this experience a much more pleasant one.

Where can I find out more on Collaborative Divorce?

The links below can be very helpful for those considering a collaborative divorce in the state of North Carolina.

Divorce & Taxes: Things You Need to Know

As we continue the push towards April 15, 2012 the WolfBridge Financial team plans to focus most of our blogging efforts around offering up information that hopefully will help tax day come and go much easier than it may have otherwise.

We recently stumbled on a very helpful article and video that can certainly be useful to those of you who may have gotten divorced in the last calendar year. So check out everything we have below and feel free to download our 3 minute podcast of Tax Tips for Divorced Couples.

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Divorce and Taxes: Five Things You Need to Know

Courtesy: Time.com

1. On Marriage Status, Go by the Calendar
Even if your divorce was finalized between Jan. 1 and April 18 this year, you are still officially hitched to your ex-spouse when it comes to filing your 2010 taxes. The flip side: if your divorce became official in December, you can’t file as married even if you were for most of the year and it would save you money. There is, however, a third status you can claim besides single or married. It’s called “head of household,” and it could save you money. The status was originally meant for single people, but some people in the middle of a divorce might qualify as well. To do so, you have to have lived apart from your spouse for the last six months of the tax year; paid over half the cost of keeping up your main residence; and be able to claim, under the rules for children of divorced or separated parents, your child as your dependent. Also, you have to file a separate tax return from your spouse, even if you are still legally married. But if you are still willing to fill out your estranged mate’s IRS forms, go ahead and check the married box. (See the top 10 celebrity relationship flameouts.)

2. Splitting the House May Be Harder Than Splitting Up
You don’t have to pay income taxes on assets that are transferred during a divorce. But if you end up getting the house, you won’t be getting it tax-free. The reason has to do with capital gains taxes, which still apply even to the recently divorced, and they come into play if you decide to get rid of your house after the divorce. Normally, a married couple doesn’t have to pay taxes on a gain of up to $500,000 on their primary residence. But now that you are single, you can only exempt half of that. So if your house sells for more than $250,000 more than what you and your former spouse paid for it, you will owe taxes. But you do get one advantage if you are recently divorced: if you moved out of the house before the divorce was final, and then ended up getting the house in the proceedings anyway, you can still claim the house as your primary residence.

3. Just Because the Kids Spend Time with You — Even Equal Time — Doesn’t Make Them Dependents
Years ago, the majority of custody arrangements were quite simple: the mother got custody of the children and, as a result, the right to call them dependents. In recent years, however, custody agreements have become quite creative and custody may be shared over weekends, vacations or during the workweek. These arrangements are complicated by the fact that neither the most recent version of the tax code nor IRS regulations define exactly what is the definition of custody or a custodial parent.

Generally, you can claim the kids as dependents only if you were designated the custodian by court order. When there is no such agreement or order, or when joint custody applies, the custodial parent is considered to be the parent who has physical custody of the child for most of the year. What happens when you share custody 50-50? Of course, you can’t both claim the same kid as a dependent. That’s against the law. Some couples switch who claims the kids from year to year in order to share the tax benefit, and if you only have one child that’s the only option. But if you have more than one kid, the best bet to avoid confusion may be to split the dependency of the kids up between the two parents, which is allowed even if both kids spend the same amount of time with each parent. (See an album of British weddings.)

4. Alimony Looks Good on Your Tax Return
In most cases, alimony, if you are the one paying it, will lower your tax bill. Even better, alimony is an above-the-line deduction, which means you don’t have to itemize to get the tax advantage. Still, there are no tax breaks for lingerers. If you and your ex-spouse continued to share a residence after the divorce, any alimony payments made during that time cannot be deducted. What’s more, the payments have to be pursuant to a written separation or divorce agreement, and cannot be considered child support. So couples who are facing extended divorce proceedings due to finances, custody battles or state laws that require extended periods of separation may still have trouble qualifying for the deduction.

5. Child Support Is Always Tax-Neutral
While alimony is considered a taxable event, child support is always tax-neutral, meaning it doesn’t affect your taxes in any way. This can provide an incentive to the ex-spouse who is making the payments to attempt to classify part of child-support payments as alimony, especially as state laws increasingly complicate the requirements for support. In recent years, for instance, parents have been required to make payments for college education. No matter how big the check — or how long a parent has to write it — the tax-neutral rules still apply.

How do we teach our kids about money?

Do our kids think money grows on trees?  Literally, when my son was 4 years old he thought donuts grew on trees so why not money?  I don’t know about yours but mine are always asking me to buy them something.  When I was a kid I remember NEVER asking my parents for money.  If I wanted or needed something I was out working to earn the money to buy it.  When I was too young to have a real job I was shoveling snow, doing yard work or babysitting to earn money.  I think those days are gone, in part due to the increased child safety concerns.  You can’t send your kids out into the neighborhood anymore looking for work for the most part. That being said, how do we teach our kids the value of earning money for something they want?

Here are three ways to teach your children the value of money.

  1. Make them earn the money you give them. If they have an allowance they should be required to do something to earn that money, i.e. get good grades in school, do household chores without being told.  If they do not accomplish what was agreed on they should suffer the consequence of not getting the allowance for that week or month.
  2. Getting a part time job. When your teen turns 15 or 16 allowance should stop and they should be looking at getting a part time job.  Obviously, you have to evaluate whether your teen can handle working and keeping up in school.  Although, you can limit the number of hours they are allowed to work so balancing school and work are easier.  Having them get a part time job also enables you to teach them about payment deductions and budgeting what they make.  Having them open their own checking/savings accounts also teaches money management.
  3. Saving money for big dollar items they want. Most teens in our culture go to mommy & daddy when they want something they cannot afford to buy on their own.  When this happens, make a deal with your teen that if they are able to save 50% of the cost of the item, then you will put up 50% to make the purchase with them.  We all know that everyone appreciates something more when they have had to work to get it.  This also teaches them the value of hard work and how much hard work goes into buying something they want.

Ultimately, it is the parents responsibility to teach our kids how to live a successful financial life.  The lessons cannot start early enough!

 

Do You Need A Divorce Coach?

When going through my own divorce several years ago I had never heard of a divorce coach.  Of course I knew that I could seek therapy with a mental health professional to help sort through the emotional ordeal of divorce but I chose not to.  It seemed like one more thing that I didn’t have the time in my schedule to do.

Then a few months ago, and five years after the end of my marriage, I attended a 3-day training on collaborative divorce.  The full-team model was explained and a real-life scenario was acted out for the participants.  I got to witness how the divorce coach of each spouse was able to help them through the legal, financial & emotional issues of their divorce.  Being able to watch that process and compare it to how my own scenario played out several years earlier really opened my eyes.  For me, decisions were made under stress, or even duress, and actions sometimes out of anger.  I could clearly see that if I had had someone to help me manage my emotions & frustrations, I could have made more clear and goal-oriented decisions.  I attended the training to help me do my job as a financial professional but I walked away from it feeling almost as if I personally had been coached for the previous 3 days, and it was amazingly therapeutic.

While divorce coaching does not provide legal or financial advice, it does help one focus and manage their emotions so that they can make informed decisions regarding such.  Without question, I would recommend obtaining a divorce coach to anyone I knew going through a divorce.  Regardless of whether your divorce is amicable or not, your life is changing and you are faced with having to move forward in a new direction.  Having a coach can help speed up that recovery process and feeling grounded again.  Not all divorce coaches are licensed professionals but most of them are.  I wish I had realized years ago the role & importance of a divorce coach and I would have considered that a necessary part of the divorce process, rather than an indulgence that I couldn’t afford to make time for.